i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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