Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
