if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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