Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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