this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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