fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
