I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
