obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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