Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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