god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
