omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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