Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
