no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
