I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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