your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
