I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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