quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
