I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
