nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
