did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
