Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
