i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
