Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
