And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
