Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
