Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
