dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My vagina just clenched in fear
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
