White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
