I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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