Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
