I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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