I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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