It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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