guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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