Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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