In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
