you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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