The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
50% drunk capacity currently
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
