sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
