Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
