I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
