there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
