me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize