Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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