I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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