chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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