This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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