operation harelip BJ is a go
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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