The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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