where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
