my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I booty called her while she was in labor.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just gargled with NyQuil
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize