just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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