Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
