Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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