you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Be still, my beating vagina.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize