I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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