I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
