do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
