I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
