I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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