Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize