Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
