My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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