You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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