You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
