didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
