TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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