my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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