I wanna passion pit in your ass
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
