i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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