I don't think brook has ever known best
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
