All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
