2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
