He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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