I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
