yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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