East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
