Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
