I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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