Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
being pregnant is like rehab
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
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